Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Tomato Paste with Overcooked Pasta

(I did not bother taking a picture of it)

My roommate has left for the week, leaving me to fend for myself. Since I couldn't find any other recipes made from the Great Chef, I thought it be interesting to comment on my OTHER roommate's cooking. Derrick, in the softest remark, is a d!ck. He's charismatic, egotistical, and, quite frankly, completely different than my cool roommate. He's always bringing women over and trying to woo them with his sh!tty cooking. This week, he made pasta with sausage.  Since this idiot can't cook, I will correct the ingredients and method.

1 Onion
10 oz Spagetti
Italian Sausage
4 cloves of Garlic
2 Turns of Olive oil
Half a stick of Butter
2 tbsp Sugar
Dash of Pepper
16 oz Canned Tomatoes (Stewed)

How'd this Scumbag fail it?

 Mice the onion and garlic. 
(Derrick prefers to get his date involved so he can roofie her drink when she's not looking)

 Cut up the sausage. Poor girl.

 Add Olive Oil to Pan and turn stove to Medium-high.
Add the onion, garlic, and sausage.

 Bring pot to boil. Add pasta.

 Poor Girl. It's setting in.

Stir the pan till Sausage cooks. 
Add 2 tbsp of sugar.

Remove pasta. Drain. Serve with sauce.
(If he wasn't so busy being a scumbag, he wouldn't have overcooked the pasta.)

My Verdict:

(I did not bother showing the aftermath.)

It is very rare for me to ever heat up anything that Derrick makes, but due to stomach cramps, I pursued. It was there that the worst was yet to come. Off the back, I gotta say that this was a horrible piece created by a horrible person, but I will compliment Derrick for the addition of sugar. I wouldn't have expected someone to get creative. After that, too much garlic cloves. No one adds 8 cloves to a spaghetti dish. No one! Sausage was overcooked, charred by lack of stirring, which is a shame cause my other roommate would have done better. Overall, Derrick has literally won the award for SH!T MY ROOMMATE EATS. Bravo ass!

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